The Resident Evil remake is an old game, released back in 2003 I think on the Gamecube, it was such a sudden jump in the scare factor over previous games and even those used to give me the creeps. Over time as I grew older and the dated graphics of RE1, 2 and 3 became more apparent the less fearful I was of them. So when I was what, seventeen or eighteen years old and picked up my copy of Resident Evil for the Gamecube I was nervously excited. The graphics were photo-realistic (for the time, although the pre-rendered environments still look amazing to this day) and this was no mere visual update, the whole game had been overhauled. Fleshed out lore, revamped locations, new items and puzzles this was going to be amazing!
Boy was I not all that prepared for how intense this game would be (it's important I inform you at this point that I'm something of a wimp when it comes to horror games), my friend sat with me as I played and he was more brave than I so I ended up willingly handing the controller over and watching him clash with the rotting flesh walkers. He ended up having his throat ripped out by a crimson head, we were both shocked. That zombie got back up!
Left alone to my own devices I slowly and methodically made my way through the main game as Jill... On easy. I struggled so badly with the normal mode; constantly running out of ammo and having to restart and that was before I even got out the mansion!
Launch into the present and I spotted the HD versions for 1 and 0 on the Xbox One Store and I thought to myself, I fancy some of that. So, cock of walk having defeated games like Dead Space, The Evil Within and Alien Isolation I downloaded the pair and restarted my journey through Resident Evil 1 HD.
Damn this game still creeps me out, like some sort of enfeebling spell I become the scared seventeen yearold I was so many years before, starting the game as Chris a couple of times and then bailing out before even seeing a single save room. This is ridiculous, I'm a grown man, I've got to get a grip. I've played this before, finished it! I've watched dozens of speedruns over the years, I should know this game inside and out. They say all fear stems from the unknown, the lack of understanding, the incomprehensible that sends the human brain into panic mode. Beware this strange thing you cannot grasp, it is a danger! It's standard survival instinct... So why am I afraid of what I know?
It's the dread that stopped me from playing all those times, the dread of what's to come. If I down this zombie will it go crimson before I get the kerosene? Will I have enough ammo to clear out the path to the save room? Will I get killed and lose 20 to 30 minutes of gameplay? Will I run out of ink ribbons? The list goes on and on.
I have regrouped and on Monday just gone I decided I would do an easy mode run to familiarize myself with the mansion layout in preparation of my normal mode run. It sounds pathetic and that's probably true, but this game has become my nemesis. I want to finally beat it on normal and so one of the rules I set myself in my easy run is conserve ammo to the fullest and learn to dodge zombies.
So far, so good! Entering the caves I have over fifty shotgun ammo, over twenty magnum rounds and a hundred handgun bullets (I only used the handgun once this run to beat the two dogs after getting the whistle!).
Slowly but surely I'm getting over my dread, I'm tentative still as I play but I'm getting more bold. Dancing round zombies, dispatching hunters with expert accuracy. Conquering my fears one difficulty mode at a time.
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